My mom always says that,
The whole thing about relationships in life is quite simple. People stand on pillars. The people whose pillars you heighten, they love you. The people whose pillars you lower, they hate you. That’s what relationships in life are all about.
Isn’t she right?
Think about your personal and professional relationships in life. Aren’t these people standing on different pillars? Don’t you heighten one pillar a bit and lower another one a bit more – and vice versa?
Think about that colleague you cannot stand because of his fake attitude.
Think about the friend you helped to get a new job.
Think about the boss you despise because she never praises your work.
Think about your spouse’s welcome dinner you helped organizing.
We heighten and lower pillars all the time.
The difference between a networker and the rest of us mortal beings is that for the networker lowering pillars is not an option. A networker is a great expert in heightening the pillars of other people.
Take that colleague, for instance. The one you cannot stand because of his fake attitude. A networker will praise that colleague in front of others until he shows his real face. You’d be surprised to see what’s behind the facade. A human being with dreams and worries, friends and family, failures and strengths.
By lowering his pillar you cut off any chance of establishing a surprisingly fruitful relationship.
Lowering pillars of people is like giving minus feedback. It’s useless. You only lose. Stop lowering the pillars people stand upon. Heighten them and you’ll discover more and better relationships – in both private and professional life.
My mom is so right!