Once I asked my mom, Mom, what is your biggest lesson learned in 42 years of primary school teaching? My mom, back then 80 years old, looked at me, paused and took a severe sip of Bavarian beer. She targeted my eyes like a praying mantis targets her prey. Then she threw her eight-decade-wisdom at me: Where there’s no hook, you cannot hang a jacket!
Have you ever dealt with people who completely frustrated you? Whatever you said, whatever you did, whatever you tried – zero response? Welcome to my mom’s wisdom. Thanks to her amazing line I learned how to deal slightly better with no-hookers. Oops, that word really sounds bad!
Fortunately, to date, I haven’t had to deal with too many of them. But they do exist. People who wouldn’t sing in my trainings, people who wouldn’t scream, people who wouldn’t give feedback, people who wouldn’t open up their heart in front of the group. It’s so obvious to me that these people have serious issues in their personal life or, even worse, with their personality. In eight years of pro trainings, four of them left the training or didn’t show up on day number two.
I stopped asking myself all those nagging questions like, Why in the name of the Universe do you join a personal growth training, if you do not want to grow as a person?
My mom is right: Where there’s no hook, you cannot hang a jacket!
As a leader, once you realize that you are facing a no-hooker, ignoring the fact is not an option. These people are black holes; they are energy suckers. Take them out! Do it, because otherwise they consume a huge portion of your energy. The other team members will start doubting your leadership skills. To them, no-hookers kill any remains of team spirit. They spread negative, poisonous vibes.
Just like we cannot save the world, we cannot save every single person. You want to hang your jacket. If there’s no hook, even if it hurts, say goodbye and move on to another hook.
My mom would tell you: Believe me, my dear, there are so many of them!